Meet the women behind Too Darn Hot, a celebration of Philadelphia’s finest female tap dancers at the 2011 Philly Fringe. If you like ‘em, follow the development of their show on their blog, where they’ve just announced their performers. The show will be hot indeed!
Where do you live now?
Kat: Sou’ Philly, with my parents!
Pam: I live in a 188-year-old shotgun house in East Cheltenham.
Where were you born?
Kat: New Hampshire.
Pam: Northeast Philly.
Did you go to college or grad school? If so, where?
Kat: Goucher College, Oxford University and Roehampton University in London (where I completed the most esoteric MA imaginable: Dance Anthropology).
Pam: I attended the University of Pennsylvania for my undergraduate degree, which means that I stayed within the same 15-mile radius for the first 23 years of my life. I remedied that when I moved to Charlottesville, VA to obtain a Masters Degree in English at University of Virginia.
What’s your show title? Too Darn Hot
What’s your favorite alcoholic beverage?
Kat: Are we counting calories? If not, I’ll take a raspberry truffle white chocolate martini, please.
Pam: PBR ‘n’ a shot of Jack Daniels.
What’s your favorite Philly intersection?
Kat: 2nd and Lombard, ’cause that’s where our show’s gonna be and Headhouse is one of the greatest parts of Society Hill.
Pam: Five Points.
If you were a “Founding Father,” which one would you be and why?
Kat: Ben Franklin—the dude had awesome hair, plus he used to hang around naked for an hour each day to let himself “air out.” Also he took a rather rational approach to extramarital affairs (an older mistress was advisable, he claimed, because she’d be flattered and less likely get pregnant) and he built that amazing mini golf course in Old City . . .
Pam: I’d have to go with Ben Franklin simply because his face is on a $100 bill.
Do you care about the Civil War Sesquicentennial?
Kat: Absolutely! I’m planning to attend in a full Scarlett O’Hara get-up (am dismantling my velvet curtains as we speak).
Pam: I only care to the extent that I get to make vicious fun of the Civil War re-enactors.
What’s the worst thing you ever did for money?
Kat: Worked retail. At the totally ghettofabulous A.C. Moore on Columbus Boulevard. And I wasn’t even in high school at the time: I was 24 years old with a Masters degree.
Pam: I “judged” a totally rigged dance competition.
Who’s your favorite Phillies player?
Kat: Um hello . . . this is Fringe . . . do you think any of us can even name any Phillies players? I’ll have to say Chase Utley because he’s the only one I can think of and according to the Tastycakes ads, he’s pretty hot.
Pam: That’s easy – Michael Jack Schmidt. If you grew up in Philly in the 1980s, then you probably remember exactly where you were the day he hit 300 home runs. My brother and I were sitting in our basement listening to Harry Kalas call the game. My brother had his ear to the little transistor radio, and when Mike Schmidt hit the ball out of the park, he ran around our little basement screaming. Funny memory.
Do you have relatives more famous than you? Who are they?
Pam: I do! I’m not sure how closely we’re related, but I’m sure you won;t do a detailed ancestry check. Get this – I’m related to a serial killer!! My maiden name is Kuklinski. I’m (somehow) related on my father’s side to Richard Kuklinski, the Ice Man Killer. There”s even a super creepy documentary about all of the people he offed over his bloody 50-odd year career.
Do you own a gun? If so, have you fired it in anger?
Kat: Yes. This is why our show will feature only female performers. Philly’s male tap dancers were getting a bit out of line . . .
Pam: I don’t own a gun. My bodyguard, on the other hand . . .
Do you have pets? If so, what are their names?
Kat: Dusty and Belle aka Bellington Beagle.
Pam: No pets. Two tiny kids. [Kids can count—my management company said that if I have a kid, I need to put down a pet deposit equivalent to one-month's rent. --NG.]
If you weren’t an artist, what would your job be? (alternatively, what is your job, if you”re not a full-time artist?)
Kat: I’m a freelance writer and quasi-academic (which means I’m deciding whether or not pursue my PhD or to move forward with two books I’m writing).
Pam: I have a full-time job in book publishing, but I’m not sure anymore that it is my ideal job. I’ve always wanted to found and direct a non-profit women’s center. Or be a fashion designer.
What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever seen on SEPTA?
Kat: Sunflower seed shells spit—not dropped—all over the floor of the #23 bus.
Pam: About three years ago, I saw two teenagers having sex on the El. I recall trying to flee the El car, but the entire car was jammed with people. For some reason, these kids did not care who was watching them! I’ve often wondered if the whole scene was actually being filmed for a “candid camera” or an (X-rated) “what would you do” kind of a show!
Kat and Pam’s Too Darn Hot runs one night only during the 2011 Philly Fringe at Bistro Romano, 120 Lombard Street, Society Hill. Thursday, September 8, 5:30 pm and 8:00 pm, $18.
–Logan Tiberi-Warner and Nicholas Gilewicz
Photo by Brian Mengini.